Toy Fair: Fall of Cybertron Metroplex Mocks Your Toy Shelf, Wants His Own Room

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News from the Hasbro presentation is that they’ll be introducing a new bot this fall to decimate both your wallet and shelf space. Fall of Cybertron Metroplex will clock in at 2 feet tall, have his own separate helper bot, … Continue reading

Transformers Geeks Assault Hasbro, Take Over Production

Really, it’s the only explanation for the news of the Target Exclusive that dropped earlier today. Y’see; back in 87 we had Transformers characters that looked like this:

Children of the early 90s! Fear me!

Children of the late 80s! Fear me! For I am your neon doom!

Except their toys didn’t look like that at all, they looked like pink and yellow atrocities like this:

Abominus struck fear into his enemies by his shocking lack of fashion sense.

Abominus struck fear into his enemies with his shocking lack of fashion sense.

Abominus was the combined form of the Terrorcons, a team of dragons and monsters that couldn’t even be controlled by their own faction. In concept, they were pretty cool. In execution…you know who loves hot pink toys that transform into sentient robotic monsters? If you raised your hand and said that one kid in middle school Science who liked to make the frogs “dance” when you dissected them, you’d be right. So how in the Allspark is THIS getting made:

Target Abom

Coming this Fall exclusively to Target, with fairly accurate homage colors. I’m not going to question it; but I sure will buy the hell out of it.

(pics are care of the ridiculously detailed TFwiki.net)

Greatest Shirt of All Time

Is this the greatest shirt of all time? You could say “No.”

…you’d be wrong; but you could still say it.

8DTronIt’s available over at Ript for less than 24 hours. I suggest you don’t tarry.

Me, Grimlock Say Happy Space Thanksgiving!

Happy Turkey Armageddon from us here at Sweep-the-Leg. Enjoy a bit of pulp fiction space dino with your morning prep (be it cooking or starving yourself for the onslaught of calories later).

Me, Grimlock Want to Save Space Princess!

(It’s available over at Ript till midnight tonight in case you want to break the Thanksgiving purchasing embargo)

The Threeway: Top 3 Things Missing From My Geek Resume (Anthony’s Take)

I consider myself a Good Geek. I have doted on properties till I knew minutia that made other geeks back away in awe (or more likely fear). You want to know what the Transformer’s favorite bar is? Maccadam’s Old Oil House, of course. You want to know what ninja clan Snake Eyes was a member of? The Arashikage Clan! EVERYONE knows that (except Adam). You want to know in what episode of “My Little Pony” Jon de Lancie showed up playing what was essentially their version of Q? …OK, fine, no one wants to know that last one. BUT I STILL KNOW IT!

But I am but one geek. I can’t know everything. Still, these omissions haunt me. This is my confession. Continue reading

Nothing Can Stop the Mouse – Disney to Buy Your Childhood for $1

What do you love? What childhood property do you cherish?

The mouse wants it.

Strictly rumor-bait at this point (albeit rumor-bait from “very well-placed sources” who “are close to the parties involved”); Disney is reportedly in preliminary negotiations to buy Hasbro.

So Transformers, G.I. Joe, My Little Pony – huge chunks of the toy aisles – could soon be in the mouse’s gloved grasp.

It makes sense – Hasbro currently makes toys for both Marvel and Star Wars, so getting them “on board,” so to speak, is in Disney’s best interests. That Transformers and G.I. Joe – two of my beloved childhood properties could get swept up in the deal…well, neither has been treated all that well in the past few years, so maybe Disney could bring some order to the brands. Still…I’m wary.

The Threeway: Most Inappropriate “Sexy” Costumes (Anthony’s Take)

Ooops! Looks like The Threeway is a little late this week. To make it up to you, we’re going to give you nerds what you want (based on the often horrifying search phrases you use to find our site): sexy costumes.

But not just any sexy costumes, mind you! These are the most mind-bendingly inappropriate costumes that a person could shamefully drape themselves in. We’re talking things like Sexy Pebbles (the baby from Flintstones), Sassy Big Bird, and Sexy Strawberry Shortcake. (And I’m sorry ladies, but do you know what’s the exact opposite of sexy? Every off-the-shelf men’s costume ever. I tried, but they all just looked like oversized children’s costumes.)

Oh, and suffice to say, if you find any of these arousing, you are a horrible, horrible person and should probably go get counseling immediately.

3) Sassy Bumblebee – I admit, there were costumes that were much worse than this, but I chose this one mostly because of the model’s face. She doesn’t even know how to make this sexy! You can just hear the internal dialogue “Really? This is what gets you hot and bothered? REALLY? …fucking nerds.”

 

 

2) Sassy Bambi – Because you know what men find attractive? Underage forest animals who watched their mother get shot to death in front of them. Rowrrrrrr.

 

 

1) Naughty Nem-Oh – No. Just…no. Ladies, I’m going to give you some advice. You wear this at a party and some guy starts eyeing you, then invites you back to his aquarium? You kick him in the junk and run away. Immediately.

 

 

 

 

BONUS ROUND!

Just because there wasn’t quite enough nightmare fuel in this list (it is a Halloween list, after all), here’s Sexy Chucky; because…oh, Ill be fucked if I know.

Sweet dreams, sickos!

Toy Porn: Super Mecha Disney Team – TRANSFORM!

Japan, birthplace of all things Transformers, has once again proven that there’s no concept that they can’t Japanify into a total conglomeration of “What the holy fuck?”

A couple years back, they introduced Disney Transformers. There was a Mickey that turned into…something?  Maybe there was a Donald? I have the vaguest of recollections because it didn’t appeal to me on any level. While I love Transformers, the classic Disney characters have never been my bag.

So news that Bandai (creators of Gundam, not Transformers, incidentally) was revitalizing the line didn’t do much for me until I saw what the they were revitalizing it into… Continue reading