You’re a Little Short to be a Stormtrooper: Hasbro Unveils 6-inch Star Wars Figures

Finally realizing that the kids that bought their toys in the 80s are now adults that are STILL buying toys (in the…aughts? …teens? What the hell do we call this decade?); Hasbro has announced that they’re going to be releasing an adult collector line of “Star Wars” figures.

The Black Series will clock in at 6-inches and feature better details and articulation than the (increasingly unarticulated) 3.75-inch figs. And unlike those Hot Toys figures you see coming out of Japan, these will only set you back $20 instead of $200. Yay for mass marketing! The first wave will include X-Wing Luke, R2-D2, Darth Maul (grumble), and an Imperial Sandtrooper.

All we’ve seen so far is Luke; but damn if this isn’t the prettiest Luke action figure I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

Just like Beggar's Canyon back home!

Just like Beggar’s Canyon back home!

If the Sandtrooper looks half as good, I’m buying an entire troop. Release Dewbacks to go with them and I’ll buy a freaking platoon.

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Nothing Can Stop the Mouse – Disney to Buy Your Childhood for $1

What do you love? What childhood property do you cherish?

The mouse wants it.

Strictly rumor-bait at this point (albeit rumor-bait from “very well-placed sources” who “are close to the parties involved”); Disney is reportedly in preliminary negotiations to buy Hasbro.

So Transformers, G.I. Joe, My Little Pony – huge chunks of the toy aisles – could soon be in the mouse’s gloved grasp.

It makes sense – Hasbro currently makes toys for both Marvel and Star Wars, so getting them “on board,” so to speak, is in Disney’s best interests. That Transformers and G.I. Joe – two of my beloved childhood properties could get swept up in the deal…well, neither has been treated all that well in the past few years, so maybe Disney could bring some order to the brands. Still…I’m wary.

Toy Porn: G.I. Kre-O

In advance of next week’s NYCC 2013 toy preview, Hasbro has deemed fit to release the following poster:

I can’t express how much glee this fills me with. Kre-Os recreating the iconic cover of Marvel’s G.I. Joe #1? Kre-O versions of my favorite 80s vehicles (I loved these more than Transformers, which is saying a lot.)?

Between that Scarlett Kre-O and the possibility of a Kre-O Cobra Night Raven, I just can’t stop “squeeeeing.”

Oooh, Shiny: Transformers at SDCC Prove that the Geek Shall Inherit

I was an unapologetic Transformers collector.

The bots covered an entire wall. The collection made people take a step back when they caught sight of it. My wife was the frequent recipient of the “Oh, you poor thing” look. Comparisons to “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” were made. Often.

I lead with this, only because Hasbro made some Transformers announcements at SDCC that made me step back and say “Seriously? You’re going that nerdy?”

Transforms from Tank into Stabby Skull-Faced Monster!

Hey, kids! Remember me? Of course you don’t!

First revelation came when they announced they’d be expanding their “Totally-not-LEGO” line of building toys, Kre-O (…sigh), to include blind-bagged Kreon figures (just like the blind-bagged minifigs from that OTHER BUILDING COMPANY THAT THEY’RE TOTALLY NOT COPYING, M’KAY?). That, in and of itself, is not shocking. The Kreons are arguably the best things about the sets (which are decidedly fiddly, can’t stand under their own weight, and blow apart into their component pieces whenever you touch them). No, what’s shocking is that they went deep, deep into the vault for its initial line-up and included characters like Bludgeon. The TL;DR version of that link is this: he’s a robot ninja who’s best idea for hiding his robot form was to put it in a shell that looks like a Skeleton Samurai. Now don’t get me wrong, Bludgeon was tons of fun in the G1 comics and I had the original toy at some point; but he’s the very definition of a fan wank character.

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