The Threeway: Top 3 Things Missing From My Geek Resume (The Other Adam’s Take)

While I may not bathe bucknaked in the sea of geek like the other two A’s; I more than just stick my toe in the waters. In fact I would say that I pretty much stand chest deep and usually think of going deeper.

That being said, my knowledge of geeky things is extensive, and being a trivia nerd, it has come in handy more than once. However, there’re just some things I don’t know. A few of those oversights are enough to get my geeky brethren to rush up to Atlanta. Just so they can tie me to a tree, throw copies of the Star Wars prequels around my feet, and set me ablaze.

These three things will ensure that if not corrected, I will never see the pimply gates of Geek Heaven. Continue reading

Iron Man 3 Trailer (For Realsies This Time)

Not a joke! Not a hoax! The full trailer for “Iron Man 3” hit the web last night. Check it out in all its “RDJ sports boy-band hair” glory.

You good? I’m good. I’m tingly. Mandarin’s introductory line in the trailer “Ladies, children, sheep…” is a freaking glorious setup for the character and sets an absolutely perfect tone for what appears to be the deconstruction of Tony Stark. Seriously, I’ve watched this trailer a dozen times already. I’m listening to it right now as I type this out. I. Cannot. Wait.

Let’s do a guided tour for some of the more interesting bits, shall we?

  • :19 – Shades of the “Demon in a Bottle” storyline as Tony talks about dealing with the stress of NYC and “Avengers”
  • :21 – Our first shot of the “Extremis” type armor, where it flies on to him in pieces (wonder if they’ll go the full “Extremis” route and he’ll end up with the armor embedded in the hollows of his bones)
  • :38 – Sentient armor? About freaking time – his armor has gained sentience and gone rogue at least a dozen times in the comics (also in the “Demon in a Bottle” storyline, natch). It’s actually a really clever way to shoehorn in another villain without having to, y’know, add another villain.
  • :48 – Iron Patriot! That’s definitely Roddy in his dolled up War Machine armor. My guess is that it serves a similar purpose here as it did in the comics (superficially at least) – when Iron Man is gone (and Captain America is out to lunch) this armor theoretically provides the symbolism to fill the gaps and ease the panic.
  • :52 – Tony going under the knife could go one of two ways – further integration of the armor (ala late issues of “Extremis”) or a (most decidedly doomed) attempt to remove the arc reactor and give up being Iron Man.
  • :59 – Mandarin’s rings! That they focused on them…I can’t tell you how much joy this brings me. It’s like the director said: “Shhhh, nerds – I get it. See?”
  • 1:00 – In case you were doubting the sentient armor angle, here’s a shot of the armor menacing our fair hero.
  • 1:15 – Can anyone make a trailer anymore without the “Inception” BROOOOOOONG? No. No they cannot.

Other bits such as Tony defeated (though I’m guessing at least a few of those shots are of the armor being defeated), Pepper in peril, Mandarin as a terrorist, paint the major characters beautifully and set the board for what should be a thrilling chess match.

April can’t get here fast enough.

Iron Man 3 Trailer! Update: Now With Bonus Mandarin Action!

…for the trailer, that is.

In a world where no bit of media can be sliced and diced up enough, there’s a 17 second trailer out for the LONGER trailer that will be out…sometime? I don’t know. What I do know is that it worries me when the hype machine starts THIS early. Fingers crossed that IM can get its legs back after the debacle that was “Iron Man 2.”

Still, nice motion shots of the new armor, Tony’s new doo, and Pepper in peril. Watch if you like your trailers like you like your romantic encounters: exceedingly short and completely unsatisfying.

UPDATE: Well not “action,” per se, as this is a still shot; but it’s still our first gander of Sir Ben Kingsley as Mandarin (care of EW). Can’t wait to see him chewing the screen; by default, he has to be better than Mumbles the Drunken Russian Rourke.

Fall of Cybertron: Shockwave vs. Grimlock

Watch Transformers long enough and you get used to certain things: despite being robots, no one can shoot worth a damn, the villains always bungle their grand schemes, and all bots can get a new “alt-mode” at the drop of a hat – see it, scan it, done.

So I was somewhat unprepared for this in the digital-only “Fall of Cybertron” comic, which details the genesis of the Dinobots.

What you’re seeing here is Shockwave, the Decepticons’ mad scientist, rebuilding Grimlock into the robo-dino we’re familiar with. Except instead of running a scan and painlessly reformatting, Shockwave has done the equivalent of removing his skin, exposing his skeleton and nervous system to the open air while he manually rearranges and bolts things on. All while Grimlock is awake so that Shockwave can break his mind and bend him to his will (in fact, by this point, Grimlock can barely self identify and is reduced to simple pronouns, a nice tip of the hat to his G1 speech patterns). It’s Transformers torture porn, essentially. And, maybe it makes me a sick individual; but I’m more interested in the conclusion of this story than anything I’ve seen from Transformers in years! It’s a fresh retelling that explores some of the darker elements of the mythology that have been flirted with, but rarely utilized (except maybe in the IDW “Kup” one-shot where Kup went insane, thought he was being attacked by zombies, but in fact was killing team after team of rescue parties). Forget that “needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” morality play, this is how you hook new fans.

The Threeway: Top Fictional Bands (Anthony’s Take)

You know ’em, you love ’em, you wish they actually existed! While it’s possible that I know nothing about Hair Metal, I do know plenty of imaginary bands!

3) Dingoes Ate My Baby might have only played a handful of times in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” but they get a bye here; because how many bands have a lead guitarist who turns into a werewolf once a month? Oz was the wolfy badboy (back when wolfy badboy meant gawky redheaded nerd rather than oiled-up shirtless dude) and paramour of Willow. One of the best characters on the show, the fact that he was in a band was almost a given. Besides, they have one of the greatest band names of all time (and darkly ironic, considering Oz was always one bad night away from making it literal).

So, so very 90s

2) “Singles” is one of those 90s movies that anyone born after 1980-something will look upon with disdain. It was Cameron Crowe’s love letter to the Seattle music scene (as much as it was a standard Rom-Com); but I loved it. Matt Dillon’s band in the movie, Citizen Dick, was full of winks and nods to popular Seattle bands (“Touch Me I’m Dick” was a play on Mudhoney’s “Touch Me I’m Sick;” the band name itself was a nod to Citizen Sane; and so on). I was deep into the grunge scene my first year of college, so I flipped over seeing Pearl Jam and Soundgarden sitting in as band mates of Dillon. Chris Cornell of Soundgarden even recorded a couple of songs based off a set list that Jeff Ament (of Pearl Jam) had created for Citizen Dick. “Seasons” appears on the soundtrack (and is fairly forgettable); but the other, “Spoonman,” became one of Soundgarden’s biggest hits. Continue reading

The Splash Page: Captain-in-Chief

These Tuesday “leaks” of Marvel’s are starting to get a little tiresome; but hey – they get people talking and maybe get some of them to set foot in the mildew-festooned cave that is their local comic shop (I kid – mildew would destroy a comic entrepreneur’s stock. What you’re smelling is Taco Bell farts.)

I was going to pass this one by when I realized I actually had an opinion about it. Y’see, Ultimates is what got me back into comics. Years before DC decided to completely cock up their main lines and abandon all history, Marvel thought to do the same thing. Except, they went the sane route and launched a sister universe alongside their Earth 616 titles. The Ultimate-verse was fantastic. The stories were fresh, the characters wonderfully non-anachronistic, the pages of historical explanation where we find out that Wolverine fathered everyone in the entire Marvel universe, including himself, were non-existent. And the fans loved it. So much so that Marvel used it to base one of their biggest movies to date. Maybe you’ve heard of itContinue reading

The Splash Page: Scott’s a Dick

I haven’t been reading “Avengers vs. X-Men” (or “AvX” if you’re a cool kid); but it seems to follow Marvel’s typical summer event arc thusly: “Hey, one superhero with this is cool. How about we give this to A WHOLE SHITLOAD of superheros? That’d be AWESOME. Also. NEW COSTUMES! Yaaaaaaaay.”

The McGuffin last year in “Fear Itself” was Asgardian hammers…and fucking everyone got one. This year, they restrained themselves and decided to only empower five superheroes with the power to destroy the cosmos. Cyclops, Emma Frost, Colossus, Hope Summers, and…Namor? all got a little chunk of the Phoenix force and remade the Marvel universe in their own, mutant-friendly, image. Obviously, there’s been a lot of scene-chewing going on; but the biggest, most lasting, takeaway is this:

Scott Summers is a dick. Spoilers after the jump! Continue reading

The Splash Page: Billy the Vampire Slayer?

I started out my life on the internet as a reviewer for “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel.” So I came here ready to rant and rave. Y’see – they’ve continued Buffy in a increasingly less interesting and more “Buh-WHA?” series of comics. Currently we’re on Season 9 and the upcoming issue is going to feature…well…

Everyone, say hello to Billy the Vampire Slayer. Billy, say hello to the five or ten people that are still reading Season 9.

So a male vampire slayer already has me firing up my rant engines. But then Espenson (who’s penning this arc) let it drop to CBR that Billy is gay and that’s why he’s the first male slayer.

We want YOU! …to suffer horribly, lose your family, and probably have to kill your boyfriend, m’kay?

Cue the “Buh-WHA?”

However, once you get past the headline-grabbing demographic bits, it turns out there’s a method to this madness. See, Billy isn’t an honest-to-Joss “Slayer” but someone who is inspired by their mythos, sees a need in his community, and takes it upon himself to become like his heroines. Even though he can’t tap into their power. Even though he’s completely alone in his battle. Which, in my mind, makes Billy one of the most badass Slayers out there.

And, really – who can resist the pull of a group who puts out such lovely recruitment posters?

Power Girl – Concrete Cheescake

As promised. BEWBS!

Power Girl and her…ahem…assets have always been major flamebait on both sides of the “Comics is a Gross Boy’s Club” debate. And, yeah, you put your heroine in a costume that sports a boob window, there’s going to be some grumbling. However, in the hands of talented writers, her boobs are handled with aplomb.

*rereads last sentence*

*ahem*…you’d better just join me after the jump to see if I can dig myself out of this hole.  Continue reading