I don’t care for Valentine’s Day, and fortunately I married a woman that cares for it even less than I do. So, while my fellow geeks were eating chocolate covered strawberries while wearing their gold bikinis (looking at you Bro), I was sitting in a dark room brooding over this subject (Ed note: But apparently not enough to copyedit – HEYO).
With a minimum amount of respect, I waited until it was officially not Valentine’s Day to post my dark list of the top 3 worst Sci-Fi/Fantasy couples/relationships. So for your entertainment, I submit a list of lost love and disappointment.
#3) WIllow and Oz: As most have stated here, if you’re looking for good relationships, look no further than the Whedonverse. This can also be said for bad ones as well, but the one that always stuck out to me was Willow and Oz. One’s a werewolf and the other is an aspiring witch. Their short love seems to be happy enough; but then Oz ends up cheating on Willow after he boinks another werewolf. To rub salt into the open wound in Willow’s heart, he uses the excuse that he’s the wolf all the time inside (No, that is not a good excuse as to why you crushed the happy, pixie heart of your girlfriend.). He promptly leaves her and Sunnydale to go to Tibet to learn how to control his urges. This, however, is not the reason that this break-up hits number three on my list. When Oz leaves, Willow moves on to Tara, and thus starts the longest rebound relationship that I’ve seen in the Whedonverse. The simple fact is that there’s barely any chemistry between the two characters; and it ends up adding a rather nasty flat spot to, what I feel, is one of the stronger characters in the series. Granted, Whedon eventually kills Tara off, sparking the rage of Willow; but by that time their relationship had grown more stale then a month-old Scooby snack. Continue reading →
OK, I wasn’t going to post YET ANOTHER awesome LEGO build so soon after the amazing Firefly from the other day; but, but…just look!
Intrepid builder Mihe Stonee didn’t just build a USCSS Nostromo, they built the USCSS Nostromo; going so far as to reference original blueprint drawings and the actual model from “Alien.” It’s absolutely gorgeous and deserves to be ogled from every possible angle. I’m in awe. Click here for more detailed shots of the completed work.
Man, when we were talking this topic over, I was so very gung-ho on it. “Horror movies! Yeah! Let’s go write about that scary stuff with the guys and the blood and the monster thingy!”
Then I remembered that I’m a huge wimp that doesn’t watch all that many horror movies because they make me feel funny in my tummy and I have to sleep with the lights on and my special blanket for a month. I only watched them in my youth because I was promised boobs…what I didn’t count on was the high frequency with which said boobs would be featured in tandem with arterial spray.
I’ve got issues.
Don’t look up my nose
3) “The Blair Witch Project” – Yes, yes; I know. I know. “It’s not scary!” “It’s stupid!” “It’s barely a movie!” I recognize all of the issues of Blair Witch; it has far more detractors at this point than it does proponents. But there is one very key element that’s easy to forget now that the “found footage” film is a genre in and of itself. Blair Witch was the first. And for an audience that was unused to the shaky-cam footage and the sheer intimacy that the medium allows, that made all the difference. Watching it that first time, it was easy to laugh off the lacking cinematography, groan at the over-the-top acting. But then something happened that I wasn’t expecting, I started to believe the narrative (because why else would we be watching such poor footage?). Once that had locked in, each subsequent twist and escalation of the scenario felt that much more visceral and the division between their reality and mine lessened. To the point where, when I was walking back to my car through a darkened back lot, I found myself nearly sprinting. Blair Witch made me suspend my disbelief in a very fundamental way and, while I recognized the trick, I was unable to steel myself against it.
2) “Halloween” gets a spot on this list for not just being one of the top horror franchises; but for creating a franchise based on a character that is practically devoid of all emotion. “Nightmare on Elm Street” has a wise-cracking demon. “Friday the 13th” has an unhinged killing machine. “Halloween” though…Michael Myers is practically pedantic in comparison. He is dogged in his goal and the killing that happens along the way doesn’t feel personal or even malicious; it’s more “they were in my way.” What cinches the entire franchise for me though is the music. Those three bars of plinky piano are enough to give me chills and make me start checking behind closet doors. I still remember the first time I watched “Halloween” at 3:00 AM, my friends passed out on the floor around me, and completely freaking out when the piano music started. Let me tell you, drunken college students don’t enjoy someone flipping on every light in the house at 3:00 AM. Continue reading →