Toy Porn: TMNT Metalhead

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hold a special place in the hearts of most men-children that grew up in the 80s. The cartoon was ridiculously cheesy, the premise ridiculous, and the toys plentiful. Seriously, there were at least 5 kajillion variations of the titular team. They lasted far longer than they should have and were revived, zombie-like (though not as actual zombies, which would’ve made a killing – HA), several times. Then after the latest iteration kicked off to the dark places in the sewers, Nickelodeon brought them back YET AGAIN. But this time they got it right. Taking cues from the (surprisingly violent) original comic, the designs were much more detailed and had actual personality. The toys followed suit. I haven’t purchased a TMNT toy since I was 13 (I’ve got to draw the line somewhere); but even I was impressed with sculpts on these latest figures. But still – not enough of a TMNT fan to justify dropping cash on them.

Then I saw this beauty over on The Daytime Ninja:

Pic Credit: thedaytimeninja.com

 

A robot ninja turtle? I’d forgotten that Metalhead even existed in the TMNT canon; but damn if that isn’t one awesome mashup of a toy. If get wind of one of the anthropomorphic Triceratops being made into a toy, I may have to break my long-standing “No Turtles” policy.

Toy Porn: Fortress Maximus Reissued

Well, file this under “Things that I never expected to happen in a million years and would’ve never stopped collecting if I’d realized it was going to.” Fortress Maximus is getting an official reissue from Takara!

Fort Max is a bit of an oddity in the US – most of us 80s kids have a clearer notion of the other city-former, Metroplex, as he was smaller (and therefore more common) and was actually mentioned in the Transformers movie. However, Hasbro had to have a freaking enormous box to anchor the Transformers section of the toy aisle. Not to be outdone by their own USS Flagg (from the G.I. Joe line), they imported Fortress Maximus. He stood nearly two feet tall and was a double Headmaster (meaning his head transformed into a robot who’s head transformed into an even smaller robot). He was also $100 – which by 1987 standards meant he was strictly Santa-fodder and nigh-near unattainable. It also meant that, given modern production costs, there was no possible way Takara would ever reissue a bot that big.

Still with me? Good; because apparently someone realized that the adult nostalgia market could finally handle a toy with such a hefty price tag – the preorder is up at BBTS if your wallet is made of sturdier stuff than mine. Official pictures aren’t out yet; but hopefully he’ll come with his Master Sword (deemed too pointy and unsafe to be released in the US) and maybe, maybe, his Pretender shell (which was for one of the duo of robots that make up his noggin)! If you need a toy to bludgeon your younger brother into unconsciousness; there’s no better choice.

Grimlock. Hoodie.

I, too, was like you once. I knew the touch of a lover. No more. *shaky sob* No more.

Seriously, there is no other garment for this upcoming winter season. Why would you wear anything else?

WHY?

Available at 80stees.com way not soon enough.

(The other reason I posted this was because of the best product picture EVER. You can almost hear the echoing carnage of this poor bastard’s burgeoning modeling career/love life.)

Drop Everything! Manimal to Return!

Rawr (sadly, that’s better than any one liner ever featured on the show)

Not a hoax!

Not a joke!

The ridiculously brief, completely atrocious 80s TV series, “Manimal” has been picked up by Sony Pictures as the latest in completely nonsenical nostalgia cash-ins!

“Hey, what if we made TRON, but with a production value of zero?”

Really, I could care less. But for every ridiculous revival like this that happens, we get that much closer to a full on “Automan” remake.

Hey, a nerd can dream.

The Threeway: Top Hair Metal Bands (Adam’s Take)

So…we’ve been pretty movie heavy as of late. But, our geeky interests go beyond just movies (and comics in Anthony’s case). Our interests are varied. We can be obnoxiously geeky about other things. Like 80s Hair Metal!

First…I need to draw a line in the sand. I love Bon Jovi. They are my favorite band (bar none). I’m not sure I classify them as a Hair Band, however. Had they died out in the 80s, then sure. But, really, once they released Keep The Faith they transcended Hair Band. Thus, the the boys from Jersey won’t appear on this list. Additionally, I think “Glam” with Hair Band. Thus, Motley Crue isn’t on this list. They had hair, but I never considered them Glam. It’s a fine line (like a strand of hair).

Here are the top 3 bands that 100% embody the essence of Hair Band: Continue reading