Toy Fair: Fall of Cybertron Metroplex Mocks Your Toy Shelf, Wants His Own Room

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News from the Hasbro presentation is that they’ll be introducing a new bot this fall to decimate both your wallet and shelf space. Fall of Cybertron Metroplex will clock in at 2 feet tall, have his own separate helper bot, … Continue reading

The Threeway: Top 3 Things Missing From My Geek Resume (Anthony’s Take)

I consider myself a Good Geek. I have doted on properties till I knew minutia that made other geeks back away in awe (or more likely fear). You want to know what the Transformer’s favorite bar is? Maccadam’s Old Oil House, of course. You want to know what ninja clan Snake Eyes was a member of? The Arashikage Clan! EVERYONE knows that (except Adam). You want to know in what episode of “My Little Pony” Jon de Lancie showed up playing what was essentially their version of Q? …OK, fine, no one wants to know that last one. BUT I STILL KNOW IT!

But I am but one geek. I can’t know everything. Still, these omissions haunt me. This is my confession. Continue reading

The Threeway: Top 3 Things Missing From My Geek Resume (Adam’s Take)

I know I’m a geek. I’m the guy everyone calls when they get that “Star Trek” question in trivia. Need to know the lyrics to the “Silver Spoons” theme song? I’ll sing it to you. Trying desperately to remember which 80s robot with an acronym name was on the show “Small Wonder?” I can give you the breakdown (and remind you of the one from “D.A.R.Y.L.” as well).

But, even I have gaps in the geek resume. It’s like that scene in “Jurassic Park” where they tell you what DNA is – and how there were missing pieces in the Dino Code. If Seth Green or Chris Hardwick are the geek gods, then I’m the DNA offshoot. Instead of a complete code, I meshed in extra “Star Wars” novels or something. Hell, I hadn’t even seen all of “Wizard of Oz” until a few years ago.

So, what’s missing? Continue reading

Beatnik Barry Will Be No More

Almost a decade ago my brother got me addicted to my first MMORPG, “City of Heroes,” and since that point I’ve travelled much further down the online gaming rabbit hole than I ever expected. So when he told me that Paragon Studios (the creators of CoH) were shutting down their servers this year, I initially was sad to see it go, but at the end of the day it was something that I knew would happen.

Back in the day, CoH was fantastic, and there are still some things that Paragon Studios did that I wish would become more the norm in MMORPGs. The most important to me was the level of personalization you could give your toon. From picking their powers, altering their costume, and even writing their own biography; you had enough control to pretty much create your character from the ground up. My personal favorite out of all the bio’s I wrote, was for a coffee house barista/ beat poet, named Beatnik Barry.

BEATNIK BARRY:

Powers: Super Strength, Invulnerability, Super Speed

During a rather intense poetry slam at the coffee house, Java Jive, it became aware to the employees that they were about to run out of coffee. In a desperate attempt to ensure this didn’t happen, they started to mix coffee with anything they could find.

After drinking down what would later be identified as a mixture of French Roast and uranium 238, Barry hit the stage to perform his poem, “Quiet Sasquatch Whispers.” To the horror of the audience he transformed on stage form a scrawny, 5 foot nothing pipsqueak, into a 7 foot tall, muscled, monster.

Barry still works at Java Jive.

Even though there were aspects of this game I loved, it just couldn’t keep up with juggernauts like World of Warcraft. To make matters worse, their story lines, and game play started to get stale. Eventually I just walked away from my characters and Paragon City only to look back once with a weak wave goodbye.

In the end I think Penny Arcade was able to wrap up how I feel. In short, either you get it, or you don’t.

Farewell City of Gyros, farewell.

Angry Wars: The Video!

Continuing on my journey to self-loathing, I am 100% unable to watch this video without grinning. Is it the deeply wrong romantic attraction between the Luke & Leia birds? Is it Leia’s “love lasers?” Is it Pigsken Raiders? Is it shoddily built AT-AT’s that collapse with the slightest nudge of their legs?

Yes. All of it. Yes.

Fall of Cybertron: Shockwave vs. Grimlock

Watch Transformers long enough and you get used to certain things: despite being robots, no one can shoot worth a damn, the villains always bungle their grand schemes, and all bots can get a new “alt-mode” at the drop of a hat – see it, scan it, done.

So I was somewhat unprepared for this in the digital-only “Fall of Cybertron” comic, which details the genesis of the Dinobots.

What you’re seeing here is Shockwave, the Decepticons’ mad scientist, rebuilding Grimlock into the robo-dino we’re familiar with. Except instead of running a scan and painlessly reformatting, Shockwave has done the equivalent of removing his skin, exposing his skeleton and nervous system to the open air while he manually rearranges and bolts things on. All while Grimlock is awake so that Shockwave can break his mind and bend him to his will (in fact, by this point, Grimlock can barely self identify and is reduced to simple pronouns, a nice tip of the hat to his G1 speech patterns). It’s Transformers torture porn, essentially. And, maybe it makes me a sick individual; but I’m more interested in the conclusion of this story than anything I’ve seen from Transformers in years! It’s a fresh retelling that explores some of the darker elements of the mythology that have been flirted with, but rarely utilized (except maybe in the IDW “Kup” one-shot where Kup went insane, thought he was being attacked by zombies, but in fact was killing team after team of rescue parties). Forget that “needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” morality play, this is how you hook new fans.

WELP!

That’s it. Free time is over. Bye-bye free time.

I think it’s the Monster Bird/Chewbacca mash-up…or the Pig Star. I can’t decide which.

There’s also the inevitable toy line (with an AT-AT! AN AT-AT PEOPLE, I’M NOT MADE OF STONE!) and plushes. The announcement drops in about 30 minutes at NYCC. God help us all.

UPDATE:

As expected, Toys R Us now has the toy sets up for pre-order. I’m not going to lie, the Piggie Rancor in the Jabba’s Palace set might be the most awesome thing ever.

UPDATE 2:

AND NOW THE TOYS ARE GONE! It’s an Angry Bird/Star Wars conspiracy! We will not let this truth go uncovered! We will not let them deny you the right to look at unreleased toys! BEHOLD! Continue reading

Angry Wars

“One. Two. Three…Four?”

Counting the various versions of Angry Birds on my iPhone, I came to a decision.

“That’s it, Anthony. You have a problem. The line must be drawn. No. More. Angry. Birds.”

Then Rovio tweeted this:

“Huh…that’s interesting. But NO! The battle lines have been drawn! I will regain control of my phone!”

Then Rovio posted this over on their official tumblr:

“n….no. You can’t…you can’t make me. I…don’t…wanna…”

Then I realized that the pigs would probably be Gamorrean Guards.

“Even if it costs a million dollars it will be mine.”