“Meh,” you say. “It’s another superhero cartoon. So what?”
To which I respond “HOLY SCATTING BATMAN, SON! IT’S ONLY THE GREATEST DC SUPERHERO CARTOON SERIES TO EVER GRACE THE AIRWAVES.”
Then I strap you down, turn on the Netflix feed and do your eyes all “Clockwork Orange” style.
You’ll thank me.
G.I. Joe is a uniquely screwed up property, in a way that only cartoons born in the 80s can be. There’s a cornucopia of increasingly improbable military vehicles (it’s a tank AND a helicopter!), a rainbow selection of unnecessarily specialized operatives (So what if you’ve got a boxer, hypnotist, and alligator handler? We’ve got a comedian, wrestler, and football player!), and ninjas.
Ninjas by the dozen! Ninjas of every hue (including pink…really)! Ninjas with armor that’s so heavy, they’re samurai! Ninjas who don’t speak! Ninjas who wear only white! Ninjas who consistently and successfully wield knives at gun fights!
What I’m getting at is that, if you’re really going to send a love letter to the original cartoon and do it right, you’re going to have to get some “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” mixed in with your “Platoon.”
Lucky for us, the current creative team seems to get it IN SHURIKEN.
What’s that? You’re a Masters of the Universe nerd who prefers to showcase the fact that you love ‘roided out swordsmen (whose names all sound like something you’d find in bad gay porn) in an ironic fashion?
Well, my confused friend, Ript has the shirt for you…
You know the drill. It’s up for 24 hours. Get it or risk being called Orko at your next MotU gathering.
Valentine’s Day. I’m not a huge fan of flowers or chocolate. My valentine got me a box of 9mm hollow-point ammunition for this holiday o’ love. So nobody should be very surprised that my choices for Top Sci-Fi/Fantasy couples are a little nontraditional.
#3: Flint and Lady Jaye in GI Joe. I don’t know what is going to happen in the upcoming GI JOE: Retaliation movie between Flint and Lady Jaye. I’m not thrilled about the actors playing either of these characters- especially Flint (D.J. Controna ain’t no Jai Courtney, plus has a name that sounds like dancing & drinking – which, really is not a problem for me, but still…) Anyway, in the cartoon, they were obviously more than friends, but also always had each other’s backs. Plus Lady Jaye kicked ass. Always. Let’s hope for the same in the movie.
#2: Master Chief and Cortana in Halo 4. I am not a true gamer by any sense of the imagination. But when my 11-year-old son begged me to get him Halo 4 (“The best game EVAR, Mom!!!”) a few months ago, I agreed – with the stipulation that I watch him play for a while to make sure it was okay. Cut to 2 weeks later: I am spending every spare hour playing (“Die you alien motherfu— um, you scum!!!”) the game with my son – addicted, akin to some sort of assault rifle-toting crack whore. Continue reading
We here at The Threeway understand that the community at large has varying opinions on February 14. Some see it as a schmaltzy Hallmark-manufactured holiday to be reviled, others see it as an opportunity to express their love and (hopefully) not be pepper-sprayed, still others see it as the day before Discount-Candyageddon (that fateful day when wallets and waistlines begin a devious inverse relationship).
But lets put all that aside for now and take a look at what really matters this Valentine’s Day: our favorite sci-fi/fantasy couples.
3. Zoe & Wash, “Firefly” – Alright, let’s get this out of the way, if you’re looking for gut-wrenching, kick-you-in-the-teeth relationship dynamics, you need go no farther than Joss Whedon. Honestly I could easily make this list all Whedon couples and be completely satisfied. But I’ll limit myself to one (maybe two). Zoe and Wash sport a wonderful mix of swapped gender roles (Joss loves to toy with those). But where in many hands a “hard woman, sensitive man” dynamic comes off as preachy and sensationalistic, Whedon gives us characters that are deeply comfortable with each other and with their relationship. Indeed, watching them mess with people’s heads when they try to pick at the couple is one of the things that made “Firefly” work so well. Continue reading
It was announced that a new Ghost in the Shell series, Arise Ghost in the Shell, will be coming out at the end of July. I’ve been a fan of this cyberpunk world since I saw the original movie decades ago, and when Stand Alone Complex came out in the early 00’s I was overjoyed to dive back into that world again. It also gave little glimpses into the past of the cyborg protagonist Motoko Kusanagi. Not to mention it had one of the better openings for an anime. (The best being hands down the opening for Cowboy Bebop.)
So with that to live up to, the first teaser for the Arise is falling a little flat for me.
It just doesn’t seem to have that same pop or edginess that the last series had. Granted this is only a sample of things to come, so I will suspend my criticism until I see a few episodes. We can only hope that this series finally reveals the reason why Kusanagi just gave up on wearing pants.
Is this the greatest shirt of all time? You could say “No.”
…you’d be wrong; but you could still say it.
It’s available over at Ript for less than 24 hours. I suggest you don’t tarry.
HO HO HO! Merry (early) Christmas. To help get you in the Holiday mood, we’re doing our Threeway on the Top 3 Christmas Specials. In grand tradition, however, none of us are sure if that is the Best 3, the Worst 3 or something else entirely. Should be fun.
I’m going with “something else entirely.” These are my three favorite Christmas themed clips/specials. The power of Youtube is in my hands!
#3 – Mr. Bean – The Nativity. Mr. Bean is simply brilliant. The over childlike and impish behavior is a dazzlingly joy to watch. I thought I was funny putting Humphrey Bogart in my manger scene. Bean has a host of toys that makes this best Nativity you’ll ever see. It’s the best 3 minutes you’ll spend today (and, yes, even more than the three minutes spent on the “Pacific Rim” trailer):
#2 – South Park – The Spirit of Christmas. This narrowly beats out the “South Park” Mr. Hanky episode. Solely because this is thing that started it all. This “Christmas Card” tackles the age old question of who would win, Santa or Jesus. Yes, this is a tad sacrilegious, but it is still incredibly funny:
#1 – “Star Wars Holiday Special” – Not many people have seen this atrocity. And, that is a shame. Everyone should be tortured with this at least once. Before the prequels dove into how bad of a filmmaker George Lucas really was, the “Star Wars Holiday Special” gave us a glimpse. Aired only once, the story follows Chewie’s family on “Life Day” as they await Chewie to come home. 90% of the dialogue is in Wookie. The other 10% comes from Art Karney and Bea Arthur (I only wish I was making this up). And, it included special music numbers, like this:
Happy Turkey Armageddon from us here at Sweep-the-Leg. Enjoy a bit of pulp fiction space dino with your morning prep (be it cooking or starving yourself for the onslaught of calories later).
(It’s available over at Ript till midnight tonight in case you want to break the Thanksgiving purchasing embargo)