The Threeway: Top Three Star Wars Characters that Most Deserve Stand-Alone Movies (Janie’s Take)

3smallI have to admit, I am meh about the whole concept of side-stories in the Star Wars universe. (In any universe, really.) I can barely tolerate subplots within the original movies. The thought of creating an entirely new movie about a character that didn’t even make the first string as a hero seems… Unnecessary. Unimportant.

An obvious attempt to un-brainrape those of us who willingly followed George Lucas into a dark alley on May 16, 1999.

No means no. It does not mean ‘maybe.’ It does not mean ‘come back later.’ It does not mean ‘try a little harder.’ It does not mean ‘Maybe, if I’m a little drunker…’ NO.

But I digress. Kind of.

So even though I am not excited about this Three Way, I know my compatriots have been dreaming/thinking about this for their entire lives. You can feel the glee fairly oozing from Anthony’s pores. (Adam’s too, under the stinky sarcasm.) So I’ll play:

StarWarsOola23) Oola. You know, the green dancer lady in the skimpy outfit in Jabba’s Palace. That’s right, she has a name – remember it: Oola. We all know she ends badly, but how did she get there in the first place? And did her death have some other meaning besides introducing us to the rancor? Enquiring minds want to know. She’s the like the Bree Tanner of Star Wars.  (That’s right, I just included a Twilight reference in a Star Wars post. Suck it.)

2) Boba Fett. An obvious choice. But hell, it’s my avatar people, what do you expect?

1) The Villains of Star Wars. Cause let’s face it: it’s Disney – they’re not just looking for a movie, they’re looking for a ride too.  It won’t be long until Star Wars UniveStarWarsVillainsrse is a full-fledged section of Tomorrowland in Disney World. What better ride could there be than all the villains of the Star Wars universe, based on the hit-movie?  Jabba (complete with rancor and sarlacc), Darth Maul, Darth Sidious, Vader, even Boba Fett, with some stormtroopers and battle droids thrown in.  And, of course, the one who came closest to destroying the universe: Jar Jar Binks.


2 thoughts on “The Threeway: Top Three Star Wars Characters that Most Deserve Stand-Alone Movies (Janie’s Take)

  1. Episode I (and for that matter III) premiered on May 19th. I was so excited to celebrate my 24th birthday watching Episode I. I got Star Wars toys for my birthday for the first time in years. Then I went to the movie, it went downhill from there

  2. Pingback: The Threeway: Top Three Star Wars Characters that Least Deserve Stand-Alone Movies (Adam’s Take) | Sweep the Leg

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