The Threeway: Top 3 Things to Dread About J.J. Abrams’ “Star Wars”

3smallSo apparently the interwebs blew up last night with the rumor that J.J. Abrams is in line to direct “Star Wars: Episode VII – A New Cash Cow.” While attaching a big name director this early in the process is par for the course, and has a high probability to shift at some point, I’m fairly happy with the news. I have enjoyed Abrams’ work for a while and his revitalization of “Star Trek” left me hopeful for the franchise’s future.

But then this wouldn’t be Sweep the Leg if I just said I was pleased and left it that; now, would it?

So here’s a quick and dirty Threeway of the things I’m dreading the most from the upcoming Abrams-led sequel.

3. Lightsabers will consist of nothing but lens flare.

2. Old Yoda will travel back in time to convince Young Yoda to not let Anakin train. There will be lots of long, uncomfortable shots where we’re convinced they’re about to make out.

1. Non-nerds will never, ever correctly identify “Star Wars” and “Star Trek” again.

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