I know I’m a geek. I’m the guy everyone calls when they get that “Star Trek” question in trivia. Need to know the lyrics to the “Silver Spoons” theme song? I’ll sing it to you. Trying desperately to remember which 80s robot with an acronym name was on the show “Small Wonder?” I can give you the breakdown (and remind you of the one from “D.A.R.Y.L.” as well).
But, even I have gaps in the geek resume. It’s like that scene in “Jurassic Park” where they tell you what DNA is – and how there were missing pieces in the Dino Code. If Seth Green or Chris Hardwick are the geek gods, then I’m the DNA offshoot. Instead of a complete code, I meshed in extra “Star Wars” novels or something. Hell, I hadn’t even seen all of “Wizard of Oz” until a few years ago.
So, what’s missing?
3) Akira Kurosawa – a huge blight on my film resume is that I’ve never seen a Kurosawa movie. Not one. Not “Hidden Fortress,” not “Seven Samurai” and not “Yojimbo.” I have no reason, I just haven’t (I started watching “Hidden Fortress” one day and then noticed “Back to the Future” was playing on another channel). I’ve had opportunity (they are all on AMC often enough, plus NetFlix and other DVD options) – they just haven’t been on the top of my list. I even watch foreign/subtitled movies (btw – if you haven’t seen “Fish Story” yet – I highly recommend it). Of the three items on this list – this might be the one I have to rectify.
2) “MacGyver” – I’ve never seen an episode of “MacGyver.” Not one. Not even part of one. Not even a montage of a scene of MacGyver building a bomb out of a lingerie and a squirt gun. Sure, I can fake a discussion or make a non topical reference about duct tape, but that’s about it. This is saying something because I saw every episode of “A-Team,” “Knight Rider,” and even “Manimal.”
I’m not sure why I shunned Richard Dean Anderson – although I think his mullet had something to do with it. Oddly, I also never watched the “Stargate” show(s). I saw the movie (not a fan) and tried the show a few times. Just not my cup of geekery. Although, I did see his episode of “Facts of Life” a few times. I don’t think I’ve really missed anything by missing “MacGyver” but it is a missing element from the C.V.
1) “G.I. Joe” – This is the one that gets my brethren on this site. I’ve never seen an episode of “G.I. Joe.” I’ve never even played with a toy. Never read a comic of it. Nothing with the name “G.I. Joe” was ever consumed at my house. And I’m a child of the 80s! But, somehow…it 100% passed me by.
I watched all the “Transformers” I could. I could recite episodes of “Battle of the Planets.” I could play one game of “Asteroids” on the Atari 2600 for HOURS. Hell, I saw “Smurfs: On ICE!” (in retrospect, I should probably keep that to myself). But, I never once yelled “Go JOE!” (Or was it “Yo, JOE?” I really don’t know. For me it was more “No JOE!”)
Again, I don’t have a reason why this happened. It just wasn’t on my radar. I didn’t actively avoid it – I just never gravitated toward it. Easily the biggest blight. I tried to rectify by watching the movie a few years ago. That wasn’t a good experience. “Joe 2” has The Rock and Bruce Willis in it – so I’ll be there opening weekend. Perhaps that will be enough to hook me into the franchise?
What about you, dear reader? What do you look back on in shame for never watching?