Ooops! Looks like The Threeway is a little late this week. To make it up to you, we’re going to give you nerds what you want (based on the often horrifying search phrases you use to find our site): sexy costumes.
But not just any sexy costumes, mind you! These are the most mind-bendingly inappropriate costumes that a person could shamefully drape themselves in. We’re talking things like Sexy Pebbles (the baby from Flintstones), Sassy Big Bird, and Sexy Strawberry Shortcake. (And I’m sorry ladies, but do you know what’s the exact opposite of sexy? Every off-the-shelf men’s costume ever. I tried, but they all just looked like oversized children’s costumes.)
Oh, and suffice to say, if you find any of these arousing, you are a horrible, horrible person and should probably go get counseling immediately.
3) Sassy Bumblebee – I admit, there were costumes that were much worse than this, but I chose this one mostly because of the model’s face. She doesn’t even know how to make this sexy! You can just hear the internal dialogue “Really? This is what gets you hot and bothered? REALLY? …fucking nerds.”
2) Sassy Bambi – Because you know what men find attractive? Underage forest animals who watched their mother get shot to death in front of them. Rowrrrrrr.
1) Naughty Nem-Oh – No. Just…no. Ladies, I’m going to give you some advice. You wear this at a party and some guy starts eyeing you, then invites you back to his aquarium? You kick him in the junk and run away. Immediately.
Just because there wasn’t quite enough nightmare fuel in this list (it is a Halloween list, after all), here’s Sexy Chucky; because…oh, Ill be fucked if I know.
Sweet dreams, sickos!