Don’t Take the Detour

There’s a great disturbance in the Force. As if we needed more proof that Lucas is off his rocker… now comes a new show for the Cartoon Network: Star Wars Detours. And…. holy hell:

Words fail me. This… this… SEE! NO WORDS! This makes “Attack of the Clones” look like sheer awesome. (BTW – I used “Attack” as my reference because it really is the bottom of the barrel of the Star Wars Saga. For those who think otherwise… you’re just wrong.) At this point, I think we can safely say that Star Wars has jumped the Rancor.

I can say that the child inside me is crying, but what’s the point? Honestly, the kid inside me no longer cares. Hell, my kids don’t even care. I’ve tried indoctrinating my five year-old into the Star Wars Universe more than once. We watched “A New Hope” at his school (with other kids). He liked it – but it wasn’t the Gateway Drug he needed. “Clone Wars” on DVD? Nope. Star Wars Weekends at the Disney Hollywood Studios? Meh, in his mind. I even shelled out for “Phantom Menace” in 3D. Again, there was enjoyment (as much as possible with that one) but no further love. My point is… maybe it is time we all just stop caring. Lucas obviously has.

Any rate, this… wow. Where to start? Let’s start at the top. I assume that King George isn’t really involved in this. He saw something shiny and jumped at it. What’s his end game here? I can only assume one thing… NEW TOYS! Seriously, what else is there? There’s no way anyone has watched this trailer and thought “yeah, we need for 13 episodes.” But, my big takeaway from that preview? New character design (wretchedly awful character design, but new character design nonetheless).

The bigger problem is in conception. “Detours” comes from Seth Green (although it is an official LucasFilm production). Seems like “Robot Chicken” caught the eye of Uncle George and he said “yeah, let’s make that.” Only he missed the point. “Robot Chicken” is funny in doses and when the topics change. The “Star Wars” specials had a diminishing margin of returns already with each sketch (that’s an economic term for ya. Google it if you need to be edumacated). Creating a second hand off shoot of that… Is like taking a detour when you don’t need to.


3 thoughts on “Don’t Take the Detour

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