The Threeway: Top 3 Sports Movies

So really, we’re doing this one? Sports movies? Have I seen three sports movies in my lifetime? I’m not sure.

Does “Predator” count? It’s almost like hunting and that mini gun that Ventura has to tote around looks rather heavy.

No? Like there needs to be balls and sweat and stuff? I’m pretty sure “Predator” had that too.

Siiiiiigh. FINE.

3. “Finding Forrester” is utterly forgettable. I can’t remember a single thing in the plot and I even had to look up the name of the movie. So why is it here? For the sole fact that Sean Connery utters bombastically “YOU’RE THE MAN NOW, DOG!” to the deep confusion of everyone, everywhere, at all times. I still use the line in my worst Connery accent, much to the deep confusion of everyone, everywhere, at all times.

2. “Bring it On” is unapologetically formulaic. The acting, as it were, is atrocious, the cheerleading even more so. But it’s fun and I’ve probably logged more hours watching it than I’d care to admit. It might not bring the sense of accomplishment and burgeoning joy that traditional “sports movies” bring; but answer me this: Do they feature a car wash scene with Eliza Dushku in a bikini?

That’s what I thought.

1. “Caddyshack” also has none of the merits or tropes of traditional sports movies, and that’s exactly why it’s my number one choice. Even without the golf backdrop, say if it was set at a yacht club, it would have been an amusing movie; but then we would have been denied Bill Murray’s “Cinderella Story” scene and Chase’s “Be the ball.” They managed to take the most boring sport in the world and weave in a cast of characters to make a  comedy masterpiece who’s lines and scenes have stayed with me for years (even if I haven’t seen it in…wow, almost 20 years? I really need to fix that).

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4 thoughts on “The Threeway: Top 3 Sports Movies

  1. Clearly you need some help here. Here are my top 5:
    – Rudy – Should be on the Top 3 without question. Might make my top 100 list of any genre.
    – Remember the Titans: Great message, very inspirational if you ask me. Strong Side!!!
    – Hoop Dreams: Fantastic documentary of inner-city basketball youth
    – Bull Durham: I thought Costner did a nice job in this movie.
    – Hoosiers: I still catch myself watching this beginning to end when it shows up on TBS once or twice a year.

    Notable exclusions:
    – Rocky: Too easy, plus I couldn’t figure out which one would make the top N list.
    – Talladega Nights: One of my favorite comedies, but it’s a stretch in the “sports movie” genre.
    – Any Given Sunday: Ok, pure cheese, but still a fun movie to watch.
    – Major League: I strongly considered putting this one above the line.
    – Field of Dreams: Just never did much for me.
    – A league of their Own: This one hits home since it is about my home town (basically), but there were better options.
    – Jerry McGuire: Not a bad movie, just tired of it. “Show me something different!”
    – White Men can’t Jump: Was an all-star of the late 80’s/early 90’s, but didn’t have staying power to me.
    – Space Jam: Just wanted to see if you are paying attention.

    Finally — “Bring it on”? Really?

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