Superman’s Deadliest Catch

Look! Down in the water! It’s fish! It’s a boat! It’s Superman?

Holy cow did Warner Brothers miss with their “Man of Steel” teaser. Seriously, it’s awful. It may be the WORST teaser ever. This isn’t even hyperbole. Can anyone name a worse teaser? Is anyone teased in a good way about this? Does anyone think “ohmygoshanewSupermanIcan’twaittilnextsummernow!!!”?

I’m guessing not.Superman

First, the bad. Everything. I guess it looks nice. And, if this was a movie called “Life of Fisherman” or something – it might be awesome. Heck, if it was called “Man of Steel” and was about a Fisherman. I strongly believe that most theater-goers watching this were legitimately confused until the red S symbol appears. Then, once it does, you’re left with the thought “wait, was that fish stuff?”

The only (and I’m reaching here) intriguing thing about it is that WB created two versions. One has a voice over from Kevin Costner (Pa Kent) and the other from Russell Crowe (Jor-El).The two different voice overs showcase the man the different Fathers would want their boy to become. That’s almost interesting. But, not really. And, for those keeping score, the Jor-El one is faaaaaaaar more interesting (as it least it gives us the Christ analogy that often follow the Superman mythos) and it is still awful.

I always thought Zack Snyder would bring the wrong aesthetic to Superman. I didn’t realize he would bring an entirely different wrong aesthetic though.

Here they both are. Press play and cringe. Am I wrong? (No, I’m not.) Has cinematic history ever had a worse teaser? (It’s possible – but I can’t think of one.)

First, the really bad one.

Then, the mostly bad one.
What do you all think? Can you name a worse teaser?

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9 thoughts on “Superman’s Deadliest Catch

  1. Once again you prove that you are not a Nerd you are a fool! I as a devout Man Of Steel fan was upset …until I saw this teaser. If you have never read a Superman comic then yes you have no Idea, but seeing as I am then I am “ohmygoshanewSupermanIcan’twaittilnextsummernow!!!”. It shows him as an alien trying to fit in a world of humans, he traveled the world like David Carradine. It shows him as a child wanting to be the good guy, and the voiceovers..INTENSE!!! Love it want more of it, give me more. This may erase that horrid returns! Di Muzio READ A COMIC!!!!!

  2. First, I would like to point out there’s a really lovely yogurt advertisement at the beginning of the trailer which means nobody’s time is *entirely* wasted by watching it. Don’t be melodramatic.

    Obviously, this is not meant to be a Superman trailer as much as it is an homage to “Deadliest Catch.” But seriously, let’s face what’s really going on in this teaser trailer: the CGI dept’s discovery of how to show when Superman increases his speed while flying (instead of him just squinting his eyes harder). Thus, Zack Snyder et al. present us the… wait for it… “Cone of Air”. Twice. Just to make sure we didn’t miss it the first time. Ain’t it cool?

    As for worse teaser trailer, I’ll see your “Man of Steel” and raise you Steven Soderbergh’s 2005 “Bubble.”

    By the end of that you don’t know what it’s about, who’s in it, or why you would ever want to see it. Just a minute and a half doll parts. By about 30 seconds in (or if we’re really slow 32 seconds) we get it — dolls are creepy. But we still don’t know what the heck is going on. And there’s not even any yogurt advertisements.

  3. There may be something interesting in that trailer. There may be something that piques my interest from a long-view story perspective. But that would only be if the last modern Superman movie had been any good and I was ready to step back and examine what drives the man behind the cape. Unfortunately, the last movie WAS “Superman Returns,” so I don’t think an introspective nerdbait trailer is going to get anyone ready to plunk down their $15 for an IMAX 3-D experience. And if we’re talking about comic-book superiority here, DC didn’t even make it to three…maybe four, issues of their supposedly year-long “Superman walks across America and doesn’t do much else but talk to folks” arc. Because while it’s interesting if handled correctly, it’s damn sure not gripping.

    I look forward to the tagline of the posters that will accompany this trailer: “Next Summer. You will believe a hitchhiking hobo can fish.”

    • If “Man of Steel” was pitched as “Tree of Life” combined with “Superman” – I might be jazzed.

      Oh and I completely forgot… What’s up with the “Lord of the Rings” music too??? I know they are taking away the Williams score (which is one of the few things “Superman Reborn” did correctly). I sure hope the teaser music was temporary though.

  4. Carlos – the concept of an alien fitting into the human world is fine. And, honestly, I think that’s part of what might make the movie intriguing eventually. For a teaser, however, it failed. There was no tease. It failed to tease. Unless you have either a strange fish or Superman fetish. In which case…

    • I do have a strange Superman fetish, and damn I do love a good fish, but Supes has been hated since the mid 90’s for being a goody goody, but as I said can’t wait for it. BTW Gooby is a worse trailer.

  5. Pingback: Man of AWESOME! | Sweep the Leg

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