Counterpoint: More Pepper, Please

Make another joke about my Daisy Dukes. I dare you.

Adam. You’re a dork.

Rescue would be a fantastic addition to the Iron Man movie-verse (and, yes, that version of the armor WAS introduced a few years ago and it DOES make regular rounds now that Pepper has an Energizer in her chest just like Tony).

Gweneth Paltrow’s Pepper is the secret sauce that makes RDJ’s Tony Stark a complete character. Now, I’m not saying that it’s the greatest cinematic performance of all time. It’s not. But Tony needs a female foil to counteract his Iron Cock-waving bravado. He needs someone to ground him and force him to take a look at things from a less “The world is broken and I just need to fix it.” perspective. And, I’m not going to lie, their scenes make me grin. Paltrow and RDJ have a chemistry on-screen that’s just fun to watch.

But let’s take a look at the bigger problem that Rescue would fix.

Let’s take a look at Gwenyth’s ass.

Avengers, while an AMAZING move (possibly one of the greatest superhero team-up movies ever) had a problem when it came to its female leads. How many times did we see Black Widow’s ass? And what about Pepper? What girl doesn’t love to traipse about their apartment in denim shorts that are so tight and so short, adding underwear could possibly cut off all circulation and sever the femoral arteries?

Counter that with how many times we got a long lingering shot on Cap’s crotch bulge.

Don’t get me wrong: equality is NOT built into comics. Never has been. Likely never will be. But when I show my daughter the superhero offerings out there, I’d like her to be able to look at a female hero and see how much ass she kicks or how she’s able to right injustices; not wonder whether or not she waxes on an hourly basis.

Introducing the Rescue armor would make Pepper something more than a foil; something more than window dressing or a damsel in distress. It would put her in an active role where she could make a difference (because, let’s face it, in the Marvel movie-verse, you aren’t going to do much unless you’ve got some shiny tech to help you along). This goes doubly in a franchise where, if you’re female, you’re either deflecting the advances of Tony Stark or giving in to them.

I hope the rumors are true, because I would absolutely love to see how RDJ plays off against a Pepper that could kick his ass into next week. I hope the armor is as shiny as it is in my dreams.

I hope.

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